Finding my direction

I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me

So this page finally decided to complete loading, my outlet for the thoughts that collect in my mind…

I am grateful to my creator. He watches over me. He watches me change and draws a path for me, which he knows i am going to take. And he adds a touch of trouble, and a dash of pain to it. And he showers it with his blessing. There is so much i have, that so many dont. I have changed so much, i look back and i dont recognize myself. Ive made decisions that i would never have made previously, given up oppurtunities i would have ceased most days of my life.

They say we all want what we cant have. Maybe that is true, or maybe we are just too afraid of pursuing what we really want. I wish to be loved back, i miss being loved with a fire. But love is not for the weak, I pray that we learn to conquer our fears, and i pray that god brought us together for us to stay that way. Whatever his reasons, i believe in his wisdom, he watches over us.

I saw ‘into the wild’ again today. Happiness is only real when shared haha

On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
All my destinations will accept the one that’s me
So I can breathe

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they’ll never know
A mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes

Don’t come closer or I’ll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you

Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I’m never what they thought
I’ve got my indignation, but I’m pure in all my thoughts
I’m alive

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they’re singing with the dead
Overhead

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
Guaranteed

(Courtesy: Eddie Vedder ‘Guaranteed’ <into the wild soundtrack&gt

Tango down

Not much to say today either. When there are spaces left empty, you feel a certain discomfort. Did what i could, always held the right intentions, when one thing ends another starts. So its not the end of the world, my life goes on too. Although i hope things could be different, theyre really not under my control. I deserve better, or maybe not…

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I cant let you slide through my hands

Wild horses couldnt drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldnt drag me away

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind 

 (Courtesy: Rolling Stones ‘Wild horses’)

Speak easy

Most days you dont realize the value of truth. Somedays it strikes you when you know that youre being lied to, or when the truth is being hidden from you. Their is great comfort in honesty, people dont seem to realize.

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there’s a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

(Courtesy: Pink Floyd ‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’)

We wish you well

Not much i think of to say today, so i found something that speaks for me:

Im sad to say its time to go
Until we meet again along the road
Remember this on your journey home,
When you hear the thunder roar youre not alone

We wish you well, we wish you well,
In times of trouble may your hearts be strong
We wish you well, we wish you well,
Until we meet again,
We wish you well…

(Courtesy: Whitesnake ‘We wish you well’)

Home…

Everyone of us has a place where we belong. Somedays it is our decision where we choose to set camp, other days we just like to think that is. The question is, when it was your decision what did you choose, because you cannot be held accountable for what is beyond your control.

My creator has made strange systems that function ironically, people and the things they face, people and the people in their lives. There is always comedy, always tragedy, always pain, always pleasure, even pleasure-in-pain and vice versa. Life is like many jigsaw brought together, pieces combined to form the most unnatural yet the most fitting combination. God’s design, i have great faith in. To accept where he places us, is to agree to his greatness, to thank him for where he’s placed us, is the love for who he is.

Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Oh, won’t you please take me home?
Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
Take me home

Strapped in the chair of the city’s gas chamber
Why I’m here I can’t quite remember
The Surgeon General says it’s hazardous to breathe
I’d have another cigarette, but I can’t see
Tell me who you’re gonna believe

(Courtesy: Guns N Roses ‘Paradise City’)

Crispy Cool

Summers are beer season. Picnics on the beach with chilled crates of beer to cool you down. A nice buzzin feeling to keep your spirits high. Yeah baby!

Everyday is a new day
Im thankful for
Every breath I take
I wont take it for granted (I wont take it for granted)
So I learn from my mistakes
Its beyond my control
Sometimes its best to let go
Whatever happens
In this lifetime
So I trust in love (so I trust in love)
You have given me
Peace of mind

I feel so alive
For the very first time
I cant deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly

(Courtesy: P.O.D ‘Alive’)

Life as we know it

Life is a strange game. Somedays it makes sense, somedays it doesnt. Somedays you want something, but when you get it, its not worth the effort. I enjoy this uncertainty though, i enjoy not being able to control everything around me. I know that someone watches over me. I know that there are people who love me and pray for my happiness. I know there are people i love whose happiness i pray for. Uncertainty brings one to a state of unrest, i enjoy that too. Things can stay the way they, things can change. I will not lose my spirit. I will not lose my faith. I will not stop loving. Because i cant, and dont want to, stop being myself.

Talk to me softly
There’s something in your eyes
Don’t hang your head in sorrow
And please don’t cry
I know how you feel inside I’ve
I’ve been there before
Somethin’s changin’ inside you baby
And don’t you know

Don’t you cry tonight
I still love you
Don’t you cry tonight
Don’t you cry tonight
There’s a heaven above you baby
And don’t you cry tonight

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye
Don’t you take it so hard now
And please don’t take it so bad
I’ll still be thinking of you
And the times we had … baby

And don’t you cry tonight
Don’t you cry tomight
Don’t you cry tonight
There’s a heaven above you baby
And don’t you cry tonight

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
How I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you’ll be alright now sugar
You’ll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

And don’t you cry tonight

(Courtesy: Guns N Roses ‘dont cry’)

Busy busy busy…

i havent blogged for a while. Been busy preparing for Organizational fuckin behavior compre. Khair, thats behind me now. I deserve a treat for myself. Im thinking of buying me a bottle of vodka, lets see…

http://www.thakurkainteqam.com

Check it out!

Rollin down the street…

So i finally have a car to myself. Gots me a khyber today, four wheels and all. Real solid drive as compared to my bro’s cuore. Gear shifting is kinda confusing though. Khair, now i can go boozing to the end of the city! *loud evil laughter*

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
Laid back,   with my mind on my money and my money on my mind

Now, that, I got me some seagrams gin
Everybody got they cups, but they aint chipped in
Now this types of shit, happens all the time
You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine
Everything is fine when you listenin to the d-o-g
I got the cultivating music that be captivating he
Who listens, to the words that I speak
As I take me a drink to the middle of the street
And get to mackin to this bitch named sadie

She used to be the homeboys lady (oh, that bitch)
Eighty degrees, when I tell that bitch please
Raise up off these n-u-ts, cause you gets none of these
At ease, as I mob with the dogg pound, feel the breeze
Beeeitch

 

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I am proud. I have every reason to be.

And the feeling it gets left behind…
Oh the innocence broken with time…
Were different behind the eyes, theres no need to hide.
Were safe tonight.

The ocean is full cause everyones crying,
The full moon is looking for friends at high tide.
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrows denied.
I only know my mind. I am mine.
(Courtesy: Pearl Jam ‘I am mine’)