When i was much younger, i used to stick my head in a tub full of water to see how long i could hold my breath. i tried again today. In the odd silence of the water, you find yourself battling against your own self. Half of you wants to pull out, the other half pushes you to break your own best. There is no fairer competition than yourself. It is the most humble form of competition, and if you indulge in it everyday, one fine day youll wake to find in the mirror, a person who is far stronger than you thought you could ever be. It takes time and persistence to conquer yourself. But its a thing worth doing.
The chocolate cardboard house is not as fragile as it looks. Sure you can step on in and make it crumble. But like a bun that comprises of the perfect dough and the most attentive baking, it gets right back into its original shape once the pressure is withdrawn. Every mark that remains is a reminder and reassurance of its strength. And like grains of rice, everyday it ages, its worth increases. It may look like nothing to you from the outside, but on the inside its a world cold golden walls could never contain.
This post is a reminder to me, before i step into another downer, as to why i choose to be what i chose to be.
Remember the taliban from the mid and late 90’s? the heroes who fought off the well armed russian military with their primitive weapons? the whole goddamn world celebrated it, the americans, us, the arabs, all of us supported them. After 1996 they setup a strict government, and everyone gave them recognition for the various crimes they ended in their society. There was no more poppy production there, rapes and murder cases fell to lowest, there was a single uniform government in a nation that had been at was for i think a 100 years? How many governments in the world have been able to handle crime the way they did?
The laws were determined by the ulema according to the sharia, mullah omar being nothing more than a front face of the organization. At the end of the day though, they needed time. Their laws probably did have flaws. The talibs (enforcers of the law) definitely had flaws. they lacked the needed education(modern and religious) to do the job they were allocated with more humanity, but do you really except a nation that has known nothing but war to turn all humane on us in a day? They had groups of people who were using the law in their own interest, just like it is in any other government in the world. The taliban needed time to overcome their problems, but they were working on them, and they did overcome a lot of them. But then they were a threat to the west, they were an alternate method of government that was proving to be strong and successful, they had free will and couldnt be dictated unlike us or the arabs. And given enough time, theyd be too strong a force to fight. So the world decided to tarnish their image, pick out whatever flaws they had and publicize them as animals.
Then they had 9/11. Lovely ass war campaign that was.
So the world decided to bomb Afghanistan, and free the nation of these animals. Um, but what about palestine and kashmir and chechniya??
Those groups within and outside the taliban who were working in their own self-interest decided it was time to turn against the taliban too. As a result of their betrayal, the americans were actually able to land into afghanistan and win the war. For a minute. The taliban today again control 70% of all of afghanistan one way or the other. They still have over a dozen sharia courts where everyday people seek justice, and are given sanctuary by the people of the nation they allegedly so brutally governed.
Ok, i realize im ranting.
Coming to the pakistani taliban. After the US attack on afghanistan and subsequent betrayals by their own people, the ulema who were the backbone of this force were at risk. They had to be protected. In order to do so, most of the various groups that had joined the taliban were asked to leave. This included what we now call the Pakistani taliban. These were groups that were, by the taliban, basically suspected to have joined the other side or to have been working in interests of their own. Mullah Omar has strongly condemned the recent actions of this particular lot and has clearly distanced the afghan taliban from them.
My point merely being, the pakistani taliban, and the afghan taliban are two very different institutions.
Why do we support this american war? Why do we listen to them and rely on their media? Remember Iraq?
US: they have weapons of mass destruction
UN: um. they dont. we just checked.
US: they do.
UN: they dont.
US: you know where your paycheck comes from?
UN: they probably do.
US: if you insist, we shall go take a look.
UN: hail america
US: aha! saddam hussein! lets hang him. See, we freed iraq. Such a great nation we are.
Al-jazeera: Where are the WMD’s??
US: stupid terrirost channel. we freed iraq!!
Iraqis: You’re stealing our oil.
US: *Booom!* Who’s your daddy now bitch?
So on and so forth.
I was gonna write about how cool i think OBL is, but im really not in my writing zone today. And im hungry.
Undoubtedly the most beautiful, most intelligent woman in music today.
(And you best not disagree)
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.
Ahem. Here goes.
1. I spent 2 years trying to get into art school. Took classes. Made a kickass portfolio, and got really really good at it. But i could never clear their interview. I still have no clue why. But im glad.
2. I eat. A LOT! Sometimes when im eating i feel guilty, cause of all the poor kids who starve in this world while i eat till there’s no room left.
3. Even if ive just had dinner or lunch, after a drive, i feel hungry again. Always!
4. I love cheesecakes. And steaks. And nihari. And beef cheese rolls. And bbq club’s. And fish and chips. And and and and…
5. I have a sharp nose. I smell women. I smell ALL women. If you’re a chick, and ive met you, ive prolly smelt you. I cant help it.
6. Im insanely perverted.
7. I love the smell of fish waste near the port. I find it very comforting.
8. In school i used to bite and spit at kids who tried to push me. The intent was to hurt them in the head. It always worked.
9. I had a crush on my english teacher in grade 6. She was the first person i remember smelling.
10. The first time i ever tried to get high was by sniffing glue. Bison kit aka Samad bond. What else do you expect from a 9th grader?! 😛
11. The first girl i dated asked me out herself. I was shit scared.
12. Most the chicks ive dated i didnt really like as people. This i did so i wouldnt regret if i had to hurt them somehow.
13. I’ve only been in love once. It makes me feel fourteen. But i totally dig it.
14. In school i got beat up and broke both my hands at different times. There were a lot of lessons learned.
15. In school i got to be vice captain, sigma house. I ran the 200m and played midfield in football most of my life. In the 200m i was always among the top 3. For some reason, i never told my family about this. They still dont know.
16. I am a completely different person to different people.
17. I like to think that the lesser you have, the more freedom you have. Ive never wanted a lot of money, or a big house, or a big car, or the fanciest phone.
18. At some point in life, id like to go live alone in the woods, like that movie ‘into the wild’. (ive wanted to this since long before i saw this movie)
19. I havent had a solid fever or flu or cough that has put me to bed in maybe 3 or 4 years. Ive had maybe two or three headaches in all my life.
20. I like to climb and jump off stuff. Once i climbed the grill in my office balcony, and hung on to the other side. If i had let go, id fall 11 storeys. I loved the way that felt. (And im not suicidal or anything of the sort, so shutup)
21. Im the only person i know who’s quit drugs, alcohol, and chicks (alhamdulilah). Smoking too, but still kinda fighting that one in my head. I know how bloody hard it is and im wicked proud.
22. I have always had immense respect for religious people. I never stare at religious ladies, cause i fear God will get mad at me and strike me with lightning. Hats off for the courage they display in giving up so many everyday worldly things.
23. Im pro afghan taliban.
24. I used to think i was so cool. Reality has dawned upon me. 😛
25. I kinda want to look like those roid monster bodybuilders like ronnie coleman or Flex wheeler. But not really.
Ok. Tag done. Sleep time. 😀
On occasion you deny someone the small kindness.
Because deep down inside you hold a tiny, unjustifiable grudge. Although you do nothing to hurt the person. You do nothing to help when you could. You just watch. And its not a great feeling when you get to look in their eyes and see that little moment of helplessness. I don’t mind hurting people, so long as they’re bigger than me its okay. But i don’t like to hurt the weak. Nothing justifies it.
I like to think that im not a half bad person. But sometimes i feel that like most other people out there, i am nothing but talk.