Shahi Burp and the Capri theory

White capris represent low self-esteem.

Lal qila is just like any other restaurant, except for the fact that everything there is referred to as shahi something. So much so that the spoon the waiter serves you is referred to as shahi chumchee.

They even have a maharaja. But no maharani. It’s a G-rated place you see. And its a sad world.

You’ve all seen those chicks with legs that look chicken drumsticks packed in white capris. What you havent seen, is their mother. No, she doesnt wear capris. Doesnt need to. I was hoping this post could wait till eid. But im bored. It’s the mother, i tell you, its all on her. It doesnt matter how short the chicky’s capris are, or how recently she waxed her legs, youre drawn to her mother instead. Yes, im a pervert. But are all men perverts? They were all looking where i was looking. Or where i had to look. Even the women looked. I swear they did. God, please forgive me. You gave me hormones. You know my dilemma. She’s like a grilled chicken drumstick, grilled until golden brown, well buttered and evenly baked, she sizzles and it gives you goosebumps. The daughter can never compete. No matter how short her capris get. Shell get no attention when mommy’s around. And she doesnt like it. Not one bit. Why didnt badshah salamat raise his sword for her?

Hence the capri theory: Hotter the mother, shorter the capri, shorter the capri, greater the need for attention, greater the need for attention, lower the self-esteem.

*Theory will added to all psychology books when the curriculum is updated. If that ever happens, that is.  

P.S: Application forms for Membership to the aunty lover’s association are now available at all major retail outlets and restaurants.


31 responses to “Shahi Burp and the Capri theory

    This was beyond hilarious! 😛

  2. Pingback: Shahi Burp and the Capri theory | Tea Break

  3. thats someones mother.. wife.. sister.. AHEM


  4. and i thought girls over there would know enough not to at least wear capris during ramadan??

  5. @huda



    *hands over towel*

    yes, youre right, sorry, i forgot to say mashallah 😛

    i know, i feel a tab bit guilty, but it was funny 😉


    not everyone here is a theist.

  6. Ramadaan hai. baaz ajao? =\

    And, ERRRRR

  7. @minerva

    i shall take that as a compliment.


    you saying that, it just doesnt sound right 😛


  8. Haaaaaaaaaaaa! I just write stuff which btw only bothers you (buhahaha) and my look at you =P

  9. you must read the latest post on Mailatimes. Only those guys can match your love for burps and farts

  10. @anushay

    i just write stuff too 😛


    thankyou! just went through their stuff, badass!! 😀

  11. ah han …. ok.

    Once we went to cuccos den they had shahi raita and nestle ka raita in offering with some 25 rs price difference between them. I dont like nestle ka raita so i asked for shahi raita .It was the same thing but no it nestle packaging but in a bowl. Duh.

  12. haha shahiness comes at a price you know! 😛

  13. I totally agree! Nothing like mature women!

  14. *pukes again* Safi and Farooq it seems are best friends these days…

  15. @safi

    totally!! 😀


    Dont jealous

    *hands out another towel*

    Doesnt puking break your roza?! 😛

  16. the ruling on that is, if it is unintentional then it does not break your fast [ie if you vomit from something] but if you intentionally stick your fingers to vomit then you break your fast.


  17. Who would “intentionally” stick their fingers in to break their fast?? Dont they have a chocolate cake?

  18. Hahah! I call shotgun! 😛

  19. Funny you should mention Hell. Sounds like home-ground, doesn’t it? 😛

  20. @pd
    i see, chalo tumara roza bach gaya! 😛

    they cant have cake while theyre fasting! 😀

    its a particularly good time to remember God! 😛

    Acha ji


  21. oh! well done! 🙂

    and a little sick also?

  22. sick is my middle name! 😉

  23. why does your stuff get published on a cup of tea all the time?

    is that a good site? i want my work stolen and reprinted under my name on another site.


  24. a cup of tea?? what site is that?! :O

  25. oh you mean teabreak! thats like one of those blog forum things i guess, you can go subscribe to it and theyll do the same with your work! 😛

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