White capris represent low self-esteem.
Lal qila is just like any other restaurant, except for the fact that everything there is referred to as shahi something. So much so that the spoon the waiter serves you is referred to as shahi chumchee.
They even have a maharaja. But no maharani. It’s a G-rated place you see. And its a sad world.
You’ve all seen those chicks with legs that look chicken drumsticks packed in white capris. What you havent seen, is their mother. No, she doesnt wear capris. Doesnt need to. I was hoping this post could wait till eid. But im bored. It’s the mother, i tell you, its all on her. It doesnt matter how short the chicky’s capris are, or how recently she waxed her legs, youre drawn to her mother instead. Yes, im a pervert. But are all men perverts? They were all looking where i was looking. Or where i had to look. Even the women looked. I swear they did. God, please forgive me. You gave me hormones. You know my dilemma. She’s like a grilled chicken drumstick, grilled until golden brown, well buttered and evenly baked, she sizzles and it gives you goosebumps. The daughter can never compete. No matter how short her capris get. Shell get no attention when mommy’s around. And she doesnt like it. Not one bit. Why didnt badshah salamat raise his sword for her?
Hence the capri theory: Hotter the mother, shorter the capri, shorter the capri, greater the need for attention, greater the need for attention, lower the self-esteem.
*Theory will added to all psychology books when the curriculum is updated. If that ever happens, that is.
P.S: Application forms for Membership to the aunty lover’s association are now available at all major retail outlets and restaurants.