Coming Soon!!!

The Politics of Karachi street fights…

(too tired to write a whole post just now, but soon!)

The fact of the matter…

Do you think robocop can fart?!

I dont think so, he dont eat no chana!

Ive you live in Pakiland you mustve heard of boys harrassing chicks in crowded shopping spots, particularly during the festive season! Well, times have changed…

Yes indeed, harmless innocent unsuspecting young men (such as myself) are now subjected to random touching and grabbing! Most days id enjoy it, but to tell you the truth i felt kinda violated..!! So all you chicas who wanna do some random grabbing, take a ride to Tariq road or KDA market and grab to your hearts contentment! All you boys who’d like to volunteer may head in the same direction!

Thats all she wrote!

For my persian princess…

So tahir zaki khan went for a picnic with his friend. He took a thermos with him…

Thermos-free pathan: khochee Ye kya hai?

tahir-zaki-khan: khochee yeh Thermos hai, is main thanda thanda rehta hai, aur garam garam!

Thermos-free pathan: khochee tum ismein aaj kya layee hai??

tahir-zaki-khan: khochee is mein hum layee hain chaar(4) kulfi aur do(2) cup chai(tea)!

If an individual is given a surprise birthday party with a cake that looks like heaven and guests that are all hot supermodels, and all of a sudden a shotgun is shoved up his anus… what do you reckon he’d look like??!

Ive always had a certain hidden violent streak. I confess to dumb-foundedly watching fist fights on youtube for hours on end with the blind addiction similar to that of a mink’s to sex. And yes i know that war is nothing to want, but yet i find myself excited by the oppurtunity to witness one live!

The American General ‘Mike Idunno-who-my-daddy-is’ or something said theyre gonna be blasting at us with pure ignorant american pride pretty soon. And the pakistani COAS said in response that we aint gonna take your shit no more pretty soon.

In response to the happenings Zardari sahab said with a rotten smile on his crooked-corrupt-twisted face ‘I gotta take a leak, excuse me!’

(Disclaimer: This blogpost may or may not contain any accurate facts and quotations)

If youve been reading my blog long enough or if you have not been completely deprived of common sense and have a functioning nervous system, you prolly guessed that the guy with the shotgun up his anus prolly looks just like our current president!

P.S: i was unable to gather the info i needed on king fahd and hence could not write about him, but it will come later, hopefully…

Until then, more great poetry:

Chaa Weyoo bibi geo

Saddi hakoomat ayee weyoo

Dushman ko thaa thaa keyoo

Injaaiii karii theo meyoo…

————————

At the first light of dawn

A young child eats a tart

A young woman pushes hard

but all she gets is a fart!

Naswaar aur Sarkar

Due to the lack of chemical sedation brought about by barely-edibles such as paan, naswaar, manikchand etc pakistanis tend to lose self-control during ramadan. This reflects in their driving skills, when the everyday retard decides to play bumping cars on the way home from work, not to mention our bus drivers!

Things are looking bright for pakistan, now that we have a president that looks like a pimp, pakistan is on for the hustle… bring it! :S

The masses of Pakistan are still in denial: ‘Zinda hai bibi zinda hai!!’ Hello, they shot AND bombed her, shes gone homie!

Here’s some funny to take your stuffed insides for a ride. This is an sms i got from school today:

‘IU will remain closed on monday. However, classes will continue as scheduled – Iqra University SMS server’

????

Poetry for the sophisticated:

——————————————————-

On a dark desert highway,

A bird poops on my head

Some dance to remember,

Some fart and forget….

(Courtesy: ME ‘Inspired by hotel california’)

—————————————

Khochi aja khalay naswaar,

Bus chalana hogaya dushwaar

Cheif justice howa taree-paar

Gunjoo-man ko charha bukhaar!

Adaaab!

Bad parenting

Talking about crazy mom’s, just had to share this!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-CXwgifA4U&feature=related

Ya halla!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the month of Ramadan is here. Eat your chana and let out your farts!

Seriously, in Ramazan, i bet the production of natural gas in pakistan triples or so thanks to the chana eating habit of us pakis. As a child, in ramazan i used to time my farts. I confess, ive always been disgusting. I still remember that back then the flight would generally take off around 45 minutes after iftaar!

following is a true story i was recently told:

A young lady from rawalpindi dropped into karachi to visit her cousins. So they took her to sea view to show her the beach. She looked at the waves and said in her good punjabi accent:

‘Yeh kya raat ko bhee chalteen hain??’

Anyways, school has started again and im gonna be busy as hell. Just wanted to wish u all a happy ramadan!