Entries from July 2008
‘Meri chocolate keee murghi nay diyay
Chocolate kay aaaaandayy!’
If u had a chocolate ki murghi, would u cook it or just eat it raw, chocolate feathers and all? 
KESC (karachi ki bijli wali company) has been acting like Carmen Electra lately, tantalizing us with all those twisted things electricity can be used for, but only for brief moments of time, after which we return to sitting-in-balcony mode. (For all you ladies who dont know who Ms Electra is, please make sure the ratings filter is on before you google her name)
It sucks to sit in the driver’s seat when ur butt is drenched in rain water.
Its amazing how much paan one household can excrete on the shade of a tariq road stall. Whats more amazing is how quickly the rain can wash it all down on poor old me (somebody in this world really hates me)! Post bun kabab and minute-maid, i wasnt really interested in dessert!
Cops stopped me again.
Tulla: ‘Oye us taraf pani to nahi hai?’
Me: ‘Nahi ji, aap kay ghar ka raasta saaf hai…’
(They took away my insurance card, so i didnt of course say all of that…)
Im not the only one who’s learned a lesson or two lately. A hot chick or two might have learned never to get out wearing white capris when it looks like its about to rain! (Mainay nahin dekha, a friend told me ) Hot chicks are like insects, they come out in the rain…(haan yeh mainay dekha thaa)
The new government is striving for the betterment of our education system. Kids will now be taught more practical things… ‘Urdu ki pehli kitaab’ finally has a new edition:
Alif say Aaata
Bay say Bijli
Pay say Patrol..
I have a final paper tomorrow. Havent studied for shit. No sweat Before i take my leave, arz kia hai..
“Aaya chief justice, Chaaya chief justice
Karachi main baarish lay aaya chief justice…”
Piye Bhutto(Jr.)!
Categories: Politics · karachi
Tagged: cheif justice, chocolate, government, inflation, kabab, karachi, minute-maid, petrol, Politics, rain, tariq road, urdu
Isaphgol has made the world a better place.
The laws of gravity do not equally apply to everything!
Remember that kid in class? that kid who always maintained an extended drop of supremely extravagant, luscious lime green snort that always looked like it was ready to fall onto the ground any second, to either lubricate the foot movement of the next passerby or to fertilize the Earth with its nourishing chemical composition?! On occasion it even threatened to add new color to the school boy’s crisp white shirt. Btw, i hope for your own good, dear reader, that you havent just had your dinner. If you have, then i hope that your shirt and keyboard are both insured, or that disgust is just not a word in your dictionary!
Anyways, havent u ever wondered how that particular drop of snort was always victorious in its fight with gravity?! Perhaps this was because its chemical formula was carefully composed to maintain very little weight and high adhesion to the skin under the child’s nostril, or perhaps the earth was too discomforted by its colour and source to draw it towards itself…
The new government is very concerned about hygeine. The cops stopped me again, this time to check if my car was clean, which according to their standards, it was. Ill have to say, they must have very low standards
A great poet once said:
‘Umpphh…. umpppphhh…. ummmpppphhh’
Well, he was constipated, and Isaphgol was yet to be discovered!
After the discovery of isaphgol, he successfully said:
‘Chandoo ki chachi nay
Chandi ki chamchee say
Chandoo kay chacha ko
Isaphgol chatayee…’
In other news, i too have caught the flu. Or the flu has caught me, that would be more appropiate, ive never really been attracted to the flu u know, its just not my type
Categories: Politics · Random · karachi
Tagged: cars, chemical, child, cops, dictionary, disgust, earth, government, green, hygeine, Isaphgol, nostril, school, snort
A great poet once said:
‘Tere baap kay naam
Mere ko beedi day…’
on another occasion he said:
‘Ramu, mera ghora lay kay aa, thok day salay ko…’
Great poetry, like democracy, is truly a gift to mankind. The new government is full of life and zeal, driven by the urge to rescue us from the trenches of inflation and oppression we have fallen into. In just over 3 months theyve done so much work, if you dont believe it, you should check out the rate at which cops are ripping off tints from people’s cars! Mind-blowing…
And the cops are so friendly now they stop me every other day at 3am just to ask me: ‘Oye, kahan ja rahay ho?!’, to which i reply ‘aap hi kay ghar ja raha hoon!’ Since theyre armed, and i am yet to be exposed to radiation that makes me green and bulletproof, i choose to avoid the ‘aap hi kay’ part!
I hate it when people in China with a flu decide to go to the movies! Why, you ask me? Well, because the guy with the cam who sits at the back recording the movie for third world pakistan always seems to choose that same show to do his recording business, and we the oppressed have to end up watching the movie which chinese add-in sounds, plus the occasional chinaman’s shadow on his way to the loo, and back! Ive never heard a fart in a cam-copy of a movie though! Is that because people in China just dont fart loud enough?? Do they not have daal there??
In other news, if malai boti was a woman, id marry her! Yeah yeah, call me a sexist
Categories: Movies · Politics · karachi
Tagged: china, daal, karachi, Movies, pakistan, Politics, recording, sheep, third world
“We laugh, and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment”
Categories: Love
Tagged: audrey n, books, Love, time traveller
We human beings, we’re just freaking strange creatures!
Categories: Random
